Civility is more than just good manners—it's the practice of showing genuine respect and consideration for others in every interaction. It goes beyond surface-level politeness, fostering deeper, more meaningful connections that allow for open, honest communication. Civil individuals are able to maintain their composure and self-control, even when their emotions are running high. This level of restraint enables constructive dialogue where everyone feels heard and valued. While civility increases with age, it isn’t necessarily tied to one’s level of education or surroundings.
Adopting a civil mindset means embracing empathy, compassion, and the ability to see things from another's perspective. However, during heightened political seasons, such as the months leading up to a presidential election, even the most civil-minded individuals can feel their patience tested. If you're finding it hard to keep your cool, you might want to check out the activity section of this newsletter, where you’ll find a self-assessment from Columbia University’s Peter T. Coleman. His questionnaire, based on his book The Way Out: How to Overcome Toxic Polarization, can help you gauge whether your emotions are affecting your interactions.
But what drives incivility? According to Christine Porath in The Oxford Handbook of Positive Organizational Scholarship, it can stem from factors like narcissism, aggressiveness, high stress, or low emotional intelligence. Often, people don’t intend to be uncivil—cultural differences and varying social norms can shape our perception of what constitutes uncivil behavior. Personality also plays a role, as each person has a unique threshold for tolerating disrespect.
If you’re striving to foster a culture of civility in your workplace, consider these tips:
- Remember to use pleasantries. Greet each other every day.
- Acknowledge the other person, make eye contact when speaking to others.
- Exercise an attitude of warmth, benevolence and acceptance towards others.
- Express appreciation and gratitude in public. Address conflict in private, when possible.
- Avoid interrupting or raising objections until the individual is finished speaking.
- Circumvent accusations. Ask questions instead.
- Be respectful, even in disagreement.
- Avoid gossip and tagging others with unflattering nicknames.
- Self-regulate when experiencing strong emotions. Pause. Take deep breaths.
- Remember what is at stake, to maintain the relationship in good standing as you will continue to work with this individual/team/unit tomorrow.
Building a healthy, productive workplace relies on everyone’s commitment to civil behavior. When we all contribute, we foster an environment where respect thrives, and collaboration flourishes.
For more information on this timely topic, register for an upcoming webinar on Civility in the Workplace offered at the following times:
The University of Miami FSAP offers free and confidential consultations. Please call us at 305-284-6604 to schedule an appointment with a licensed mental health professional.
Sources:
Hart R. (2024). Prosocial Behaviors at Work: Key Concepts, Measures, Interventions, Antecedents, and Outcomes
Porath, C. L. (2011). Civility. In K. Cameron & G. Spreitzer (Eds. The Oxford Handbook of Positive Organizational Scholarship
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