Instead of only focusing on the problem(s) a particular issue may create for you, reframe to broaden your perspective, and consider the possible benefits or opportunities present in that same issue.
You can use reframes in two ways: to help you change your perceptions of any stressful situation, or to help you cope and recover from a perceived failure. Here are steps you may take to get started:
- Evaluate your language. Write down any negative words that you use to describe the situation (failure, stupid, worst ever, and so forth).
- Choose new words. Change “failure” to “stumble.” A “relapse” can be changed to a “reminder” or even a “chance to start again.”
- Consider how you can use this experience as a teaching moment. A teaching moment enables us to derive important lessons from demanding situations.
- Get a pen or pencil and a stack of 3 by 5 index cards. Write down a valuable lesson that you learned from a particular situation you are currently dealing with or from an earlier experience. Post the card where it may be easily seen.
Examples of statements you may use to encourage yourself to move forward:
- This is a challenge, not a problem.
- This is a learning experience. It is a great lesson.
- Someday I will laugh about it, and it will be a great story to tell.
- This could be much worse. I have it better than some others do.
- There are more things I like about myself than the one thing I focus on disliking.
- With crisis comes opportunity.
Source: “50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food” by Susan Albers, Psy.D.
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